WTF

Jodeci is like the boyfriend you broke up with in '93 and got addicted to crack. But damnit, back then he was the shit.

Peep yo boy Jo Jo drop at the 1:51 mark.

Have a great holiday weekend...and stay away from that white shit!

Argh

This Heinz Ad is the tackiest way to objectify women with chicken wings since Hooters. Maddening, seriously, maddening.

T-Pain = My Guilty Pleasure

My Favorite Video of the Year Thus Far!

Most times, I hate it when people take shit too literally (i.e. going "dumb"), but this is a perfect exception. Hip Hop video storyline is extremely lacking in creativity, so leave it up to Pop&B to take the reins and provide some entertainment for our eyes that doesn't have to do with underbutt. It reminds me of Michael Jackson's "Leave Me Alone" video, which I'm sure they pulled a lot of their inspiration from.

(Not feeling Wayne's verse, though. He sounds like a drowning frog.)





....fuego.

Faith's Tell-All talks Tupac

(Click on the pic)



One word: WOW. But are women in Hip-Hop so second-class and marginalized that every story they tell is a "tell-all"? What's up with that?

Blast from the Past

(You know you want one...)

Off to the Bay

  Hey folks!  Sorry for the slow week =/  I've been busy with a story on Justin Bua for The Source and am heading to the Bay for this show...



  So if you're in SF tonight, head over and I'll be filming the first episode of GBTV!

But don't fret, my pets, I'll be back in LA Friday!

That Thing He Does

When you're a teenager, everything your parents do annoys you immensely. For example, my dad does this toe-flicking thing every 3.5 seconds of every day in his life, and for someone who has never succumbed to such common vices as smoking or drinking, this is his thing. It's hard to have a serious conversation with him when there's this integrating, sandpapery-skin flick! during the most inopportune times. Other things he likes to do: turn down the music when he wants to talk about something serious, shrug to himself when he's contemplating while driving, say things like "We will going to...", and of course, snap on the 1 when he's listening to songs that he likes on the radio, or in this case, trying not to be irritated while stuck in traffic. Now that I'm older, and we live far away from each other, I find it quite endearing in that fatherly sort of way.

Is there any quirks about your mom/dad you find hilarious from a distance? Please share!

PIneapple Express: Don't Gimme No Bammer Weed

(Spoiler Alert!)

The other night, Bam and I headed over to the Arclight Hollywood to watch Judd Apatow’s latest, Pineapple Express, and I thought to myself, “A movie aimed at potheads either had to be amazingly good or so outrageously bad that it became great after a couple of hits of bomb.” When you’re high, you notice the details: whether or not dialogue seems natural, whether there’s chemistry between actors, and if a joke seems forced.


I may smoke a lot of weed, but I’m no dummy. Pineapple Express was horrible. It was so bad, we walked out before the movie was over. It was so bad, it made me not want to smoke (and believe me, everything makes me want to smoke).

So here are a couple bullet points about why I not only didn’t like it, but felt insulted that Apatow thought so little of us marijuana connoisseurs that we would consider that bammer ass movie smokeable.

- Seth Rogen shrieks the entire movie.
- James Franco was good...for about 5 minutes. Then he became the slacker dealer with a heart of gold. I don't know about you, but the dealers I got major weight from always had a creepy vibe and were relatively unattractive.
- Judd Apatow + Action Movie = WTF
- The jokes sucked butt
- Rosie Perez chose THIS as her comeback role? And her relationship with Ted Jones was weird and creepy.
- It was kind of racist. War with “the Asians”? “Speak some Spanish” sez TJ to Rosie and she punches him in the arm? MMkkay.
- Seth Rogen dating a high school girl and nobody sees this as wrong? There goes Apatow and his nerdboy fantasies again...
- After pumping out flicks like a sweatshop factory, he really needs to ease up and work on quality, not quantity.

I would go on, but I went into a catatonic state after a while. So to remedy this piece of El Crapo, I give you five REAL Pothead movies, some that you never knew were good. Not the Cheech and Chong ones, but ones that I've personally smoked to and found enjoyable.

5. Final Destination 3. Why? Because after a while, you'll be so entertained by Murphy's Law of everything going haywire that you'll be predicting the path of destruction yourself. Speeding truck? Check. Marooned car facing oncoming traffic? Check. Flip in the air and hitting the gas tank perfectly while a plummeting comet lands on them both? Ohhhh yeaaaaaaahhhh.

4. Scary Movie 3. For obvious reasons. But mostly for when the black girl fights the girl from The Grudge. Pure slapstick.

3. Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull. I got in trouble for this one because the hubby was so wanting this to be a blockbuster hit that he got pissed when my stoned ass was busting a gut at all the moments of overwhelming campiness. "Shhh! Everyone's getting mad at you!" (Everyone = him) The one-liners. The sliding down the tables forever part? The ants and the monkeys? The Saran Wrapped-filled crystal skull that was really an alien head? Come on!

And of course the two classics that I could watch over and over...

2. Half-Baked

1. Friday

So save your money this weekend and go spend it on Tropic Thunder!

Gold Medals & Gold Grills Part 2

Watch me almost dropkick a drunk guy in this version.

Gold Medals & Gold Grills Part 1

Here's a clip of me, Nani, and Cellskiii doing our thang.

Come back tommorrow for the flicks!!!

R.I.P.

Isaac Hayes

Bernie Mac

Fun Facts about Hopie and EyeASage Part 2:

Kirs, EyeASage, and Hopie in our roomie days

Continued from yesterday, here are more fun facts about your favorite female emcees of Frisco... (say that three times fast)


7. Hopie has an extensive collection of Ernie dolls that will all come to life at 12am and threaten to kill you while Bert watches.



8. EyeASage had pink half-cheek glasses for much of her childhood.



9. Hopie hates the sound of styrofoam.



10. EyeASage once reported her car stolen because she was so high the night before, she woke up and forgot she moved it.



Okay, that's enough for today, kiddos. I know I said I'd be posting until Friday, but your girl gotta fly out tommorrow morning and internet is limited, so please come through and support!





FRIDAY AUGUST 8TH 2008

The Milk Bar, EyeASage Muzik and Distortion2Static present

08.08.08

"Gold Medals and Gold Grillls"


FEATURING



EYEASAGE
(RHAPSODISTAS/M.I.S.S.)

WWW. MYSPACE. COM/EYEASAGEMUZIKPAGE
"MARRIED TO THE HUSTLE MIXTAPE AVAILABLE NOW"


AND SPECIAL GUEST



HOPIE SPITSHARD

WWW. MYSPACE. COM/HOPIESPITSHARD
"THE DIAMOND DAME FEAT. DEL THE FUNKY HOMOSAPIEN,
BAMBU, KID STATIC, TOP KAT, EYE A SAGE, & SMIGG DIRTEE
IS AVAILABLE NOW"


WITH DJS

PRINCE ARIES (DISTORTION2STATIC)

WWW. MYSPACE. COM/PRINCEARIES

& DJ HAYLOW (DISTORTION2STATIC)

WWW. MYSPACE. COM/DJHAYLOW


DOORS AT 9PM / $5 BEFORE MIDNIGHT / 21+

THE MILK BAR
1840 HAIGHT STREET
IN SAN FRANCISCO

WWW. MILKSF. COM

FOR FREE BOOTH RESERVATIONS, BIRTHDAY AND
V.I.P GUEST LIST EMAIL : MILKBARSF@GMAIL.COM

OR VISIT WWW. GOING. COM/080808 FOR GUEST LIST LOVE

EyeASage and Hopie Fun Facts Part 1:

In honor of our performance together this Friday, I'm going to be revealing some fun facts about me and my girl Hopie Spitshard until the BIG DAY:



1. HOPIE DRINKS A CAN OF MILLER LITE WHEN SHE GETS OFF WORK LIKE AL BUNDY.



2. EYEASAGE SPENT 2 1/2 DAYS IN JAIL FOR SMOKING A BLUNT IN NEW YORK IN JAN 2006.



3. HOPIE IS ADDICTED TO PLAYING WII AND OTHER WEIRD ASS JAPANESE VIDEO GAMES.

(Katamari)

4. EYEASAGE USED TO HAVE PINK HAIR.



5. HOPIE USED TO ROCK DREADLOCKS AND A BINDI!

(This is not her! Her dreadlocks were cuter and CLEANER!)

6. EYEASAGE'S PORN NAME IS "BAMBI LESTERCOURT". SLUTTY! (not real, ok! First pet + First street you lived on = porn name)



Tune in tommorrow for more fun facts about me and Hopie Spitshard!!!

A Message from EyeASage and Hopie Spitshard!!

TIme is Ticking Away...

So its 1:31am and I'm surfing the internet aimlessly. At around 10pm I saw an episode of Psychic Kids and it kinda freaked me out, but don't think that's why I'm up. I'm up because this is the only time I am surrounded by complete silence and it inspires a lot of thought that keeps me awake. Usually when I have a gig coming up, or finals, or a really important job interview, my circumstantial insomnia kicks in and I start wandering the red light districts of my mind. I go places I don't want to go, visit people I probably shouldn't visit, and succumb to the wilderness that is early morning brainfuckery.

I guess I'm a little melancholy at the moment; this morning we went to a funeral of Bam's close friend and it had me thinking of all the important people in my life that I wish I could keep in some protective bubble. I think of my son and how lucky I am that he shook me out of the egotistical mechanisms that govern my behavior. Not completely of course, but enough to assess my past wrongdoings. I think of all the people that I've crossed paths with and hope that whatever it is they are looking for, they'll find before it's too late.

I think of my life and all the things that I've accomplished, rather than obsess over the things that I still wish to accomplish. It's moments like these that have inspired my best writings, my loneliest thoughts, my vulnerable reflections, my overwhelming gratitude, my existential awareness. And the cup of coffee at 11pm definitely doesn't help me drift back to weary slumber that is often a young mother's most faithful companion.

I don't know what its like to be gone forever, but I've thought about it always. First as a fearful worry, then later, as a morbid curiosity of "I wonder who'd come to my funeral..." And before I was responsible for another life, it was more an ego boost than a real concern about the well-being of my loved ones.

It's now 2:23 am and I'm thinking of certain people in my life that, for their own reasons, are living for instant gratification and wasting time along the way. Even though I know that I can't snap my fingers and give them a sense of purpose, I really hope that they realize how much of an impact they have on the people that only wish them well. This is the only life we got, so please make the best of it! Alright, my California King is calling me and so are the two people I love the most...

This is the Life: a reflection

(outside of the Silent Movie Theater of Fairfax)


Last night, I hit up one of the L.A. screenings for "This Is The Life", a film about The Good Life Cafe by Ava DuVernay. The Good Life was a health food store in South Central that hosted a Thursday night weekly open mic session between 1992-1995. Out of it came Freestyle Fellowship, Medusa, Project Blowed, and over 150+ collective albums from the regulars of this pro-black, pro-community movement.

When I first moved to L.A., Bam used to take me on drives around the city and point to a nondescript storefront in a South Central plaza and say "This is where The Good Life used to be." Now I have a general idea of how poppin' that get-together used to be, and over 15 years later, how much of an impact it later had on the very blueprint of Hip Hop but I really was not able to grasp its significance until I watched the narrative from the people involved.


(lft to rt: omid walizadeh, chali2na, abstract rude, ava duvernay, and born allah)

If you are in the L.A. area, or plan to be around the second screening on August 16th, they will be doing a reunion show with all the O.G. Good Lifers. I know I will definitely be there and am really excited about interviewing Ms. DuVernay next week for my ongoing L.A. hip hop story.